India - October 2022
A Once in a Lifetime Opportunity.
How many people can say they’ve been invited to an Indian wedding in India? We are so fortunate to have good friends who considered us special enough to want to invite us to their wedding on the other side of the world. And they are fortunate that we love them so much - just kidding.
We knew when we got the invitation to their wedding in India that this would be a once in a lifetime opportunity. When else would we get to go to India, so why not? To be honest, planning this trip was stressful for me. I didn’t know where to start. Usually when we decide to go somewhere, it’s because I have something or things in mind that I want to see, experience or eat. It’s not that I didn’t want to go to India, but I hadn’t really thought about it, and it’s such a big country so I didn’t know what I wanted to see. Besides that, not knowing the language to be able to communicate with locals and get by was daunting to me (sure, we’ve been to Japan and Peru, but I at least knew a few phrases in Japanese and Spanish, and we were in touristy areas where people also spoke English). And then, as I was doing research, I was reading about how foreigners 1) get mugged, 2) have serious gastrointestinal issues, 3) get stared at or locals want to take family photos with them because they’ve never seen anyone other than other Indians before (I think this applies more so for white people). On top of all that, this would be our first big trip since covid and India experienced incredibly bad covid with delta, and late 2021/early 2022 was omicron. So basically, there were a couple of challenges I had to overcome myself in preparation for this trip.
We are so grateful that the friends who got married organized our accommodations for the time of the wedding. And for the couple days after the wedding, they were okay with us tagging along with them and taking the same flight home (aka, crashing their “honeymoon period”). So really, all I had to plan was our flight to India (Delhi), things to do for a couple days in the Delhi area, a flight to Indore, and transportation between the Indore airport and their wedding resort - not so bad. Luckily our friends guided us through the visa process (must complete ahead of time) because that was not all that straight forward.
If you know nothing about Indian weddings, here are the basics: 1) it’s a multi-day affair, 2) the outfits are absolutely stunning, 3) Indian standard time is a real thing. I am also so grateful that our friends bought our Indian outfits for us, or as I say, we were Styled by Kavya. Also to my surprise, and I don’t think this is customary, is that the hair and makeup artists were available for anyone to use, which is great for me because I can do neither hair nor makeup. I had to pay them myself, which was only fair (and only cost the equivalent of $12), but to have access to that was certainly a nice perk! They were also available to help us tie sarees, another thing I did not know how to do, but after watching them help so many women, I feel like I could do it. Needless to say, we were really looking forward to this wedding!
Itinerary:
Day 1: Arrival in India
We took a late direct flight Friday night (departed at 21:10) from Newark and landed in Delhi at 21:30 Saturday night. Our hotel, the Andaz Delhi, had sent a car to pick us up. Andaz is part of the Hyatt family, and we are Hyatt members because Hyatt treated us exceptionally well when we were planning our destination wedding but had to cancel the whole thing due to covid. Moreover, because the US dollar is strong against the rupee, staying in a luxury hotel such as the Andaz was very affordable. And it was located conveniently near the airport.
Day 2: Delhi
Because of the concerns we had about the language barrier and getting mugged (I don’t know if this was a valid concern, but why chance it), and also transportation (we definitely were not about to drive in India. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to cross a street), we talked to the hotel concierge about recommendations of sites to see and how to get around. They offered a private driver for the day to accompany us wherever we please for under $100, so we did just that. The driver was affiliated with the hotel and was also responsible for our safety, which made us feel much more comfortable than wandering around on our own.
It was just our luck that this day was a holiday in India: Gandhi Jayanti. October 2nd is Mahatma Gandhi’s birthday. Raj Ghat is in Delhi and is Gandhi’s final resting place, so naturally we had to go. The area was decorated with orange, yellow and pink flowers. Outside the memorial area are numerous plaques with quotes of things he said. There had been ceremonies earlier in the morning, because crew were removing folding chairs from a lawn.
From Raj Ghat, we headed to Old Delhi and Chandni Chowk. Our driver came with us and we hired a rickshaw to bring us through the narrow old streets. Rickshaw is definitely the way to go. Driving in India is scary but you also don’t want to be walking along the streets of Chandni Chowk - that just doesn’t seem safe. One of our first stops was at Naughara Gali - a quiet alleyway adorned with beautiful, colorful doorways of nine private residences dating back to the 18th century. We continued our journey through the market, findings ourselves in Gadodia Market, one of the largest spice markets in the world. Being foodies, we purchased a couple spice packets for different dishes - since coming home, we’ve made Butter Chicken from this spice packet and my Indian coworker LOVES it, says it’s the best butter chicken she’s ever had, and another coworker says it’s the best thing Kevin has made (Kevin didn’t make it). We drove through the wedding market, the food market, the clothing market - there seemed to be a niche area for everything you could think of.
Outside of the markets, we visited Jama Masjid, one of the largest mosques in India. We stopped at the Red Fort, but didn’t go in because there was a long wait to enter. We parted ways with our rickshaw driver and continued onward with our Andaz driver.
We passed India Gate along the way to the Lotus Temple. There was some sort of festival happening in the streets outside of the temple. It would have been cool to go inside the Lotus Temple - from what I’ve read, it’s extremely quiet inside so that people can meditate well - but the crowds were too thick. We called it a day and returned back to the hotel. Besides, we had an early day planned for the next morning.
Day 3: Agra
I lied a little bit before. I knew one thing I wanted to see if I ever went to India, and I’m sure you could guess it. The Taj Mahal. One of the Seven Wonders of the World. Because we had limited time before the wedding, it was a big of a logistical challenge to be able to fit this in, but I was determined!
Agra is about three hours away from Delhi by car, which is also apparently the best way to get there. In general, I like to get to sites like these at sunrise, or at least as early as possible, in efforts to beat the crowds. I’d found a tour (by Keeper Landwey) on GetYourGuide.com that picks us up from our hotel at 3AM so that we’d arrive at sunrise. It didn’t exactly pan out that way, but it was still good. The tour company had sent me a message via WhatsApp the night before confirming when we would be picked up from our hotel. Our driver was pretty much right on time.
Due to jetlag, we were both pretty awake early (as in, we woke up at midnight) and couldn’t sleep during the car ride, even though it was pitch dark. It also felt a little shady, to be in a car, in the middle of the night with someone who doesn’t speak English (or maybe he did but his accent was so thick that we couldn’t understand him). At one point, he pulled the car to the side of the road to what appeared to be a rest stop - it had a magazine stand but no actual building from what we could tell - and just got out of the car without saying anything (maybe he thought we were asleep?). We had no idea what was happening. There were other people around, not many, but some. For a moment there, we definitely thought this was part of some scheme where we were about to get mugged, raped, kidnapped or killed. It felt like we were alone in that car for an eternity, but it was probably like five minutes - just long enough for our driver to use the restroom and get a cup of chai. And then we were on our way again - alive, unharmed and with all our money!
As we approached Agra, we pulled off down a gravel road through some back road and stopped outside a building for a while. Again, we had no idea what was happening, but at least at this time, the sun was rising so there was daylight. As it turns out, we were picking up our English-speaking tour guide, Owais, from the tour company headquarters.
It was couple more minutes of driving before the driver let us out. Owais led us down a brick road. We were the only ones out. Soon enough, we came to the ticketing area. You have to go through security, and cannot take much of anything with you. All I had in my fanny pack was my passport, a copy of my visa, my wallet, phone and hand sanitizer. The woman in front of me had snacks and had to throw them out. Men and women have different lines (similar security in the airports in India) but you meet right back up after.
Having a private tour guide was great. He gave the history of the area and the building, told stories, taught us about details of the buildings - such as that the Taj Mahal is completely symmetrical and that the minarets are actually slightly angled away from the Taj Mahal, in case they ever fell, they would fall away from the building - let us move along at our own pace. The Taj Mahal is as extraordinary as you expect it to be. The details are so ornate, and impressive that they were carved by hand. It is well known that the Taj Mahal was built along the Yamuna River by Shah Jahan, the Mughal emperor, as the final resting place for his favorite wife, Mumtaz Mahal. Owais told us that Shah Jahan had intended to build another, a replica of the Taj Mahal but in black stone, across the river for his final resting place. While that didn’t happen, Shah Jahan is buried in the Taj Mahal alongside his wife.
We spent a couple hours on the grounds of the Taj Mahal. We stopped for breakfast (included in our tour) before heading to Agra Fort. To be honest, I don’t remember a lot of the historical stories, but I do remember there was a giant bath tub, a white marbled build, red building and the architecture here was also impressive.
After parting ways with Owais, we got in the car for the three hour journey back to our hotel. I believe we got back to our hotel around 15:00, but we didn’t do anymore exploring since it was a busy day and we were flying out the next morning.
Day 4: Travel to Indore
I think this was the most stressful day of the entire trip. Getting to the airport from the Andaz was a piece of cake. The flight itself was unremarkable. Once we got out of the airport in Indore, though, is when we started having trouble. We called an Uber or Lyft. They’d cancel because there was a lot of traffic around the airport (we could see the congestion, and there were a ton of people waiting around us to get picked up). We’d call another. They’d call us via WhatsApp and we wouldn’t be able to communicate because of the language barrier. This happened quite a few times. We were probably outside of the airport for about an hour, convinced that we’d never be able to leave the airport and may as well accept it as our new home. Finally, one driver pulled through. He didn’t speak any English either, other than “Hello,” but successfully picked us up and got us to our destination, the wedding resort an hour away.
Once we were at the resort, a weight was lifted. As we were checking in, we saw our friend’s brothers and mom - another relief that we were, in fact, in the right place. There was apparently some mix up with the rooms, but we were shown to a room and just relaxed for a bit. Our friends had told us we could go to the event that evening, so we did. We were the only non-family there, but it was nice to be a part of it, get our bearings, meet some of their other family members. Everyone was so welcoming and made us feel included.
Day 5: Wedding Festivities
As all days should, the first day started with breakfast. Since we were invited to the first wedding event the night before, it was nice to know a couple people at breakfast. We tried a little bit of everything, but two things soon became Kevin’s favorites: poha and jalebi. Poha is a flattened rice made with spices (I assume turmeric, since it’s yellow), herbs and crunchies. Jalebi is deep fried, sweet dough that is crispy on the outside and juicy on the inside, like a mini juicy funnel cake but less doughy. We also got to catch up with some of our old college friends who had made it in the night before.
Haldi and Mehendi
I mentioned earlier that Indian standard time is a real thing. After breakfast, we got leisurely changed into our first outfits, I did my hair and makeup and we were ready for the Haldi to start at 11:00, as was posted on the schedule. The only problem was, we were the only ones ready. We were walking down the hall to the event space and saw the groom walking around still in a t-shirt and joggers. Obviously, we had some time to kill, so we went back to our room. I had an exam coming up later that month, so I used the time to study. Kevin was probably reading about his Fantasy Football players. Quite some time goes by.
All of a sudden, we hear drums. We take that as a sign the event is starting. Somehow, in the few minutes between when we heard the drums and made our way downstairs, the party had started. The Haldi was a lot of fun. Music was blasting, everyone was dancing, throwing yellow flowers in the air. We took turns painting the bride and groom with turmeric paste and chandan paste, using marigolds (at least I think they were marigolds) as our paintbrushes, to bring a glow to their faces. The next thing we know, our friend, the groom, is being thrown into the pool and a lot of the other men are also in the pool (for fun?). The bride somehow made a quick escape, and probably had to start getting ready for the next event anyway.
There were henna artists doing mehendi for the women. I had mine done after all the family members were done. Mehendi is a form of body art. The bride’s is the most detailed and exquisite, her mehendi is to adorn her as part of her bridal beauty.
Sangeet
The Sangeet is when relatives perform choreographed dances for the couple, to celebrate with them and show how happy they are for the couple. The groom makes his grand entrance into the ballroom, surrounded by/followed by his friends and family. We did not know this, but happened to arrive at the right time and got pulled into the festivities of his entrance. The bride then makes her grand entrance in a similar fashion. You could tell they were both having such a good time.
Cousins, siblings, aunties, all combinations and permutations of family members take the stage to perform. Months before the wedding, they had told us that both Kevin and I would be participating (read: voluntold) in the choreographed dances. I was okay with this, nervous, but if that’s what they wanted for their wedding, I was okay with it - Kevin a little less so - but I wanted to make sure we had ample time to learn and practice, since we’d be in front of literally everyone. When they told us that all the learning and practicing occurs when we get to India, as in one to two days before the wedding, I was scared. Like, pooping my pants. There was no way! Luckily, once we got there, we learned we did not have to dance - I don’t know what changed their minds - maybe they didn’t want to be embarrassed by us - but I’m so glad they did! I was so impressed by the energy and coordination and grace of those that did dance, there was no way Kevin and I would have been able to pull it off.
The best part of the night was when the bride and groom took the stage and performed themselves! It was unlike anything I’d ever seen before (and probably will never see again), but so beautiful. They were so happy. I may or may not have cried.
To me, the Sangeet was the most fun, and also the most colorful of the events - vibrance, glitz and glam.
Day 6: Wedding Festivities
Bharat and Phere
Even though we are friends with both the bride and groom, we were his friends first and therefore we were on the groom’s side, meaning we were part of his Bharat! The Bharat is the groom’s celebratory wedding procession.
This time, we had learned our lesson and didn’t rush to get ready, because we knew it wasn’t going to start on time. Our plan backfired a little though, because I was still in hair and makeup when we heard the drums. Luckily, Kevin was ready and went downstairs first to get his ceremonial headwrap, pagadi, which demonstrates honor and pride for being part of the groom’s group. Another girl I had become friends with and I rushed down as soon as we were done, just as they were leaving the hotel - made it just in time! The Bharat processional took us down the road to a temple. The family went in for prayer before we paraded back to the resort. When we arrived, the bride’s family welcomed us all with small gifts and adorned our foreheads with tilak (the red dot on the forehead). The bride’s siblings/cousins try to steal the groom’s shoes - a fun tradition meant to be in exchange for their sister.
The Phere was held upstairs. The staff was also serving chai and coffee. Our friends had told us we didn’t need to stick around for the whole ceremony since it was long, boring and not in English. We did, though, and we found it interesting and beautiful. The ceremony started with the bride and groom exchange flower garlands before they are escorted to the mandap, the alter under which the ceremony is held. There Phere is the part of the ceremony where they walk around the fire together seven times, symbolizing their search for the basic goals in life.
Reception
The reception at our friends’ traditional Indian wedding was not the same as what you’d think of at an Indian wedding in the US (drinking, partying, hitting the dance floor). Unfortunately, they had planned their reception to be outdoors but due to the weather, it was held indoors in a smaller space. This reception was a huge buffet dinner, and according to our friends, sees the most number of people, including people they don’t know because the whole town, or anyone who knows their families, comes to offer the couple congratulations and bestow blessings upon them. There were so many people that there wasn’t enough seating for everyone. Our friends said that normally, there is dancing and more celebration, but because they had to move the reception indoors, there wasn’t enough space for it. They also said that they were supposed to have a grand entrance and a light show and fireworks, which also had to be cancelled due to the change in venue.
Day 7: Indore
As all the festivities wrapped up and people started departing, so did we. We were headed to the same place as our friends, but they and their immediate families had some things to wrap up, so they sent us into the wild on our own. We got a head start into Indore, the town itself. We checked into the hotel and thought we’d explore a little on foot. Traffic here is not as busy as it was in Delhi, and we felt we could safely walk on the side of the street. We went for a very short walk, but found there wasn’t much nearby. We went back to the hotel to wait for our friends and his family.
It wasn’t too much longer before they arrived. With them, we went out and got KFC - sounds silly but Indian KFC (and McDonalds) is quite good. We hung out a bit and chilled. At some point, I took a nap and could not wake up. Kevin went with everyone to the hotel restaurant upstairs, including Mrs. Garg. By the time I was able to wake up and meet them, Mrs. Garg had left, but I had made it in time to eat a little bit. We had the best chicken biriyani, and took the leftovers to go (ended up eating it at the airport the next day).
Day 8: Indore and flying home
Our friend, the bride, grew up in Indore and still has family there. She and her dad took us to Chappan Market for breakfast, one of her favorite places to eat. The market is very open, with food stalls lining the side of the walkway. We had egg bennies (sandwiches), poha of course, something fried and chai, of course. It seemed like a lot of the vendors knew her dad even though he's lived here in NJ for quite some time - maybe they’re just really friendly people.
Before we left Indore, we visited the bride’s family home. Like typical Asian aunties, her aunties and uncles tried to feed us even more, even though we had just had breakfast. We spent some time hanging out with her family, and then a couple of her family members drove the lot of us (the bride, the groom, the groom’s two brothers, the groom’s mom, Kevin and myself) to the airport for our journey home.
We had a long layover in Mumbai, a very impressive airport that reminds me of the Singapore Gardens by the Bay (not that I’ve yet been there). Here is where we tried Indian McDonald’s. We stopped by the Priority Pass lounge, but it was packed. We just spent a couple hours hanging out with our friend’s family until we boarded our flight.
Once we landed in Newark, we reconvened at baggage claim (only Mrs. Garg, Kevin and I have Global Entry) and worked as a team to collect our 13 or so bags between the seven of us.
Concluding Thoughts
If I’m being completely honest, I did not expect to enjoy India as much as I did. Everyone was so hospitable and welcoming - and not just in and around the wedding, or because people knew we were friends of the bride and groom. Even in Delhi, everyone was so nice. It was such a great experience overall that, by the end of the trip, I found myself wanting to return to explore more of the country. India has such a rich culture and gorgeous architecture. In my opinion, it is totally underrated.
I have absolutely no idea what most of the food was that we ate while in India. It was all so good - I don’t think we had anything we didn’t like. I just don’t know the names of them. In Delhi, we ate at the restaurant in the hotel and tried a little bit of this and a little bit of that during the breakfast buffet. At the wedding, we tried a little bit of as much as we could (there was too much to try a little bit of everything). Also important to note that we did not have any gastrointestinal issues, but we did try to stay away from raw foods (like fruits) and street food, except when guided by our friends (namely, at Chappan Market).
It was our experience that many people in India communicate via WhatsApp. Google Fi worked perfectly fine everywhere we were.
India is nine and a half hours ahead of Eastern time. I don’t know where that half hour comes from, but it made “translating” times difficult for me.
A couple days after returning home, we started feeling a little under the weather, and sure enough, we both had covid. Luckily, our symptoms weren’t too bad. To be honest, if we spent a week in India and 15+ hours on a plane from India without getting covid, I’d have been surprised. Needless to say, for the incredible experience, it was worth it.